Marcus Aurelius (121—180)

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor and philosopher who, according to one of his biographers, was known for his warmth, friendship, and affection. He was a practitioner of Stoicism, a set of ideas designed to help us deal with our emotions so that the more difficult things become, the more calm and controlled we are in our approach to dealing with them.

Many people in general, and performers in particular, adopt the attitude through much of their lives that “I’m only as good as someone else says I am.” If someone says that we are pretty, or smart, or clever, and we accept that as a self-definition. 

By the same token if someone chooses to describe us as clumsy, awkward, or even stupid, we feel their opinion of us is valid enough for us to not just take it seriously, but to also accept it as true.

Perhaps one of the most famous quotes from Marcus Aurelius addresses this idea directly, and it forms The Lightbulb Moment for this week.  He says:

The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. 

Think about this, because it is very powerful. What it means is that you actually make true what you think about yourself. It gets into every fiber and crevice of your soul so deeply that you can actually think less of yourself just because someone else does not value you for all that you are.

This is why, no matter what other people think about who you are, who you think you are should always be more important.

When it comes to performing, this is particularly true, because when we walk onstage many of us are more worried about what the audience will think about us than whether we are doing the best job we can and living up to all of which we know ourselves capable. We decide that the opinion the public has of our talents is more important than what we, the person who has put in all the hard work, study, and practice, think of what we have done.

It is this same attitude that leaves so many people thinking much less of themselves than what they should. They decide for example, that if they don’t win a competition, or fail at something they really wanted to achieve, they do not deserve to be valued, respected, or even liked.

If this is you, you must stop it. Immediately. Instead, you must form an opinion of yourself that starts with your valuing all you are, and all you hope to be. If you are putting in the work, the time, and the energy to be your best self, to work at your craft, and to be the best version of yourself that you can be; if your desire is to be a good, honest, fair, kind, and decent person who works to develop his talents and spirit to the best extent possible; if you are working every day to cultivate your intellect and meet challenges as best you can, then who you think you are must always be more important than what other people think of you.

Marcus Aurelius was right.  If we let them, the negative thoughts of other people about who we are, our potential, and all of which they think we are capable can get into our thinking so much that we become not all of what we are capable, but only what others believe about us. This can mean that you actually tell yourself that the good things about you don’t matter, and that you can never do enough or be enough to be fully accepted. If you adopt this attitude you can live your whole life destroying your own destiny, and your potential for greatness.

Never let that happen. Decide that who you think you are is a person capable of doing great things. A person who is destined to have a life where people admire you and look up to you because you are spending every hour and every day working to see the good you have inside of you, and using it to become the smartest, most clever, kindest and most honorable person you can. Why? Because who you think you are should always be more important to you that what other people think of you. 

Paint your soul, but with colors that come from your own brush.